How did the Happy-Children Foundation happen?
It was 2015, April 5. I was serving tables at Bread & Chocolate. The father of my daughters was watching the kids, I knew this because he had just reassured me, telling me about how they were playing in the house. It was busy, and I did not have much time to be checking my phone, but a glance told me I had to take this call.
The babysitter was calling. I hurried to the back to pick up. She was asking why my boyfriend came looking to pick up the kids from her when she didn’t have them.
My daughters were found at Prince George Plaza mall, wandering aimlessly. The police took them to DHHS. They were three and two years old and placed into a foster home for three days before I could appeal to the court to get them back.
I was broken. I prayed. I contemplated suicide. It was the longest three days of my life.
I appealed my case, and the judge ordered my children placed back into my care, but I knew that I needed to do more. I picked up a second job and went back to school. I knew that I had to choose between providing what they needed and spending time with my daughters.
I was up every day at 5 am and did not get back until 1am. A generous woman volunteered to look after my girls, as I almost never saw them. When my older daughter started school, I didn’t have the time to help her with her homework, or the money to afford a tutor. Even the afterschool programs costed more than I could afford.
My shame led me to negligence. I saw despair in the eyes of my daughters, and I couldn’t hear them out. The work I was doing just to afford necessities was leaving me empty, and my shame was crippling. I was teetering on the edge every day and addressing the struggles of my children would have thrown me over the edge, because of all that I wish I could do.
My story is not unique. These struggles are every day for many parents.
“Where are you, mom? When are you coming home?” She was three, but she still knew that I wasn’t acting as her mother.
How could I keep living that way? My life had to change. It was not a choice. I had already lost them once, and now I was losing them again.
Children emulate what they see, and I was showing my daughters neglect, exhaustion, and despair. I stopped the classes. I spent that time searching for a better job. I applied for opportunities I considered beyond me. I discovered my value along that path, and I made more money with fewer time. I stopped having to pay for a babysitter and got to spend time with my daughters.
This change is not easy; in fact, it requires trauma. There is no true change without shock, without pain. That struggle forged me into a new woman, a champion of her own struggles, striving to meet her own expectations. I needed to give my girls a future, a role model, and a family. I needed to give hope, not just for them, but for myself as well.
In order to accomplish that, I will be a force of change. I leave my mark on this world, an impact on the quality of life for those who need the support. My change started with myself, but I will change my community, and through it, I make the world a better place.
The Happy-Children Foundation is that hope. It is a dream made real, where others will not have to suffer as I did, not alone. We can do better for our sons and daughters.
THEY ARE THE FUTURE